Yup.

So why am I the one supposed to cry now? 
Haha, pathetic.


Okay so early in the morning everything was still sweet she seems like happy to see me and I brought her a pack of marshmallow and we finished it with a unimaginable speed (which is not good at all ) and I took the guitar I asked her to lend me and got back to class. Hmm everything still seemed normal.


Yup then was a whole day in bad mood.
First of all I would like to show my appreciation to my lovely head of BM. Yes. FUCK YOU. And FUCK YOU too because you can never imagine how FUCKING lot I FUCKING hate you. I got the red notice twice for BM because of you. You FUCKING BITCH GET LOST.
Then at the first recess I was thinking of playing the guitar and I played. I thought. Yup I really thought at least you would want to see me so I stopped playing and went to see you. Right I knew you would be unhappy but I never imagined that would made you not even want to talk to me. I tried to explain and apologized but seemed like I shouldn't take those for granted. I'm really sorry. Please don't not reply me it kills me. It hurts hell lot when I see you and you didn't even want to look at me nor talk to me.
Then I couldn't do well in class and yup I got frustrated when I see people doing another work that needs to be submitted by the end of the lesson. So I lend the work from my friend and managed to pass it over so I wouldn't get any record. AGAIN.
I returned the guitar at the next recess and I tried to talk to her. I thought that was better at last she had answered me a little. So I'd stayed with her for the whole recess since I don't know what to do and I didn't know why she didn't want to talk to me. That was really hurting. 
After recess I realized I hadn't had anything from morning so I grab the bread I bought last night and I almost swallowed it in whole. ( okay that's not true truth is I finished it really fast )
So I calmed myself down and planned what I want to do later. I thought of playing basketball later at evening, then I want to run for awhile and I want to cycle and play basketball again and again and again until morning comes but... Yup that FUCKING rain spoiled everything. And made worse my mood. I FUCKING love you rain. You made me even frustrated more and made my day worse even more.
I went to see her again before I go knowing that she's staying down for a tuition class which teacher is my Maths teacher. ( hmm... ) Yup I don't like that teacher. Not even a bit. But ah well as long as he teaches and can help her to do better in her Maths subject.
So all the way I ran in the rain. Still running trying to get to my car. Standing there in the rain when I couldn't find my car anywhere. Yes and FUCK you again rain why couldn't you rain heavier? So that I could wash myself with the rain and I could cry and nobody will notice and I could think of what's wrong with me today what's wrong with my life. How I wish you pour on me, rain. 
Finally I see my car reaching and I quickly ran to it. I dried myself with tissue and it didn't really work so I turned on the air-cond cooler. It was better when I reached home. 

Yup, I am in misery. And why don't you answer me?


FUCK this life. I hate myself.