My 16 =)

I should've written this last night but uh... some technical problem occurred so I am going to write it today. =D

26th of August every year is my birthday. I have to admit, last year's 15th birthday of mine was really screwed. It didn't even felt like a birthday. It was merely another so-unlucky-like-day for me. Ah never mind, let what had passed be past, we'll look into the bright future together ;) But the scars in my heart will hardly fade away, I know, trust me.

So it finally arrived. :) My 16's birthday. I promised myself no matter what I will be happy on the day. I can't be like before, I shan't be. Oh and there's a little interlude, I went hanging out with that stupid girl a few days before my birthday, and we had some leisure moment. 


Tuesday night I lied to my parents saying I want to go school to play basketball with my friends. Behind that I was actually planning to go hang out with her. I know I'm bad but sorry dad mom. So I was sent to school as planned, and I meet up with her and we walked to Pavilion. At first we thought we wanted to watch a movie, but there was no movie available for us so we just swung around. It was not a long outing, like 3 to 4 hours, but I enjoyed the moment with her So we went into Daiso to buy some sweets. She bought a pack of milk soft candy for me as I chose it. It costed RM5 which I still think it's a little expensive because it isn't a big packet but it's made in Japan so I told myself it's okay... I love that sweet it has a rich taste of milk but it's not like others milk rock candy it's soft like Sugus or Fruit Plus. So I'd quickly finish a half pack of the sugar until now. Then we bought a cup of erm... tea? I guess I can call it that way?... Ah the shop's name is Chado. It's something like Chatime or ShareTea... So it's tea I guess? Argh yes and the most embarrassing thing is, I forgot to bring my wallet! I took it out from my bad because it's holiday and I forgot to put it back into my bad when we went out! My God I was like uh-oh when I put my hand into the bag trying to grab my wallet and I realized I hadn't brought it with me. Okay this will never happen again I promise. It was really awkward every time we buy something I just stand there and she took out her wallet to pay. >< Later on we went in to Times to look around but didn't buy any books. And we went into Starbucks, she paid too... we bought a drink and a piece of Tiramisu cake and shared. Then she asked what do I want for my birthday, I told her I want her but, haha she smiled and said no. So we went into a few shops because she thought of buying clothes for me, Converse, Puma. The singlet in Converse shop was nice, but I'm just afraid I haven't had the body to wear that. So finally we went into Typo which we'd went a few times before to look and to try to look for gifts for friends. After looking for long we finally decided to buy a mug for me. But the counter told us it would be cheaper if we buy 2, so she picked one for herself too. :) Then we swung around and went back to school. It rained on the way but luckily it was only small rain. The Typo bag was wet and she was a little upset. Sorry I couldn't do anything and I didn't brought an umbrella or something. And some photo's with her so...  hmmm... haha yeah :)


So... Yeah that was it and, my birthday :)

Earlier I thought my birthday is on Saturday but I think I just mistakenly read the calendar. It was on Sunday and it crashed with my PAMA competition! Saturday I have my Mental Arithmetic class so I strive so hard on that day. I even practiced at home but I guess I just still wasn't strong enough. I only got 4th place in the competition. I was a little upset by that, but soon I became happier when I texted with her for a long time and she kept console me and gave me a push. I had lunch with my family, but I don't know why my dad and mom was like in cold war and they hadn't talked to each other since Saturday night. I felt a swell in my stomach and I hadn't eat nicely that meal. After the meal we went home to rest. I texted with her for some time too, and napped awhile, and dinner. Dinner was a little better because I am feeling a little hungry. We went to buy me a cake, white chocolate flavor. Honestly I never heard of cake with this flavor but I tried it and it was okay. The only thing I didn't like about the cake is that it had some nut taste in it. I don't like nuts. But all together it was okay. And about the dinner, my parents didn't even wanted to sit together. Dad sat with me, mom sat with sister. Sigh... I ordered a Salmon Steak and a Vanilla milkshake ;) We brought the cake to the restaurant but later we brought it back home to celebrate. My family sand me a song and I blowed a candle and we ate some cake. I'm not going to write anymore about this and finally some photos.

My salmon steak and vanilla milkshake ;)

I looked weird but my mom wanted to take it so...

White chocolate flavor cake.

Sis sitting beside me when we sang Happy Birthday song. 

Made a long wish and blew out the candle. 

=)

At night I still chatted with her awhile. Sigh I don't know what happened that made you so upset. I'm sorry if it had something to do with me. I know keep asking you about that is maybe a tiny little annoying, or I hope you don't think like that? uhm...




I'm gonna be honest. This was the best birthday I had these few year. What? I'm serious. Yup think whatever say whatever. " What?! This can't be it's nothing special!" Bah who cares about special or not. At least it's a normal birthday, right? :) Right? ... And the truth is I am happy, I really am. I just feel a little disappointed, deep inside my heart, a tiny, small, little, unimportant feeling of disappointment... When I know you won't gift yourself to me haha ;P But never mind like I told you I just love you and I'll wait for you no matter what I promise. Yes Joyce Soon Ee Jun I really do love you. 

Hey Ee Jun? Thanks for all that... =] I really like the present. The chocolates the mug and the surprise... tissue hahaha ;P you're so cute. And I've got something to tell you. 

It's okay there' no card nor cake or something. I already like it a lot for what you've done and the message. I'll keep it nicely don't worry ;) Know why I didn't choose a gift more expensive? Truth is I just don't know what more I can still want from you you'd given me so much. I always make you upset, mad at me, cry, heart-broken... much more, you just don't talk to me for a day or something then you'll be okay when we will be like normal again. Stupid didn't I told you never to say that you're a failure or you can't do anything or anything similar to those? You only don't know because I hardly tell you things about this... =] And you always say what you like or what you want or what is pretty and nice, that's why I can know what you want haha... So it's really okay, I've got you that the best thing I've got in my life I don't need more, so don't ever apologize on this again... I thought I saw hope from your message but you'd wrote and say you were joking so... Guess it's alright I understand =] 

I know you love me too you stupid. Thank you for all that Ee Jun, I love every bit of those and I love every bit of you ;P Thank you... I love you Soon Ee Jun!!

See I kept all of them nicely;) 

The milk soft candy I like a lot, and this 2 bars of chocolates... They can't be cheap right? Thank you...;) 

 The mug from Typo =D Look GUNS.N.ROSES =D

I should really be grateful and thankful for all I have when I've got all the bests. ;) 
Happy birthday to me =) 





Thank you Soon Ee Jun I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!























Good Night ! ;)

Sad and sorrow night.

I really should blog shouldn't I? Last post was so long ago. So okay I promised I'll write something whatever it is, and here it goes.

It's finally HOLIDAY, which means I can stay up late to play and sleep until late morning and go out and play basketball anytime I want and so much more to do. May....be I can't do all of them but, at least I don't have to face that irritating Nio Wei How for a week. Thanks God. He is so making me hate him as he always talk cock in the class and he kept killing students' mood to study and while, he is the one who is too much and all the time egocentrism! Damn I hate him so much! Ugh fine I will not write more about him he's tainting my post. *Shoo! 

So every one was so happy because we got our holiday a day earlier. We were supposed to go to school until Saturday but our holiday started on Thursday. Well that only means more fun I guess. ;) 
Last day of school before the holiday I'd spent quite a nice day with her since I know I won't be seeing her for like 9 or 10 days until the holiday ends. We talked in the morning for a long time, and that was a cute talk.=P And so... the day ended, I didn't know whether she really stayed down and play volleyball or she'd gone hanging out with friends, I don't wanna because I am jealous of both ;( My dad wanted me to go home straight away after class ends.

That night was sweet, we had such sweet talk... But tonight... ugh... I don't know. I feel, like everything is so bad, so wrong, so... not in the way it was supposed to be.

I got home after whole day suffering from missing her but can't see her. I was so happy when I finally am home and I turned on the computer immediately to get to her and talk to her. I missed her so much. You see, the thing I only don't like about holiday is that I have to spend days or weeks or even months not seeing her. Which is quite sad. 

I don't want to write anything about what happened, but however it is, it wasn't good. That's why I couldn't fall asleep, and stayed up so late night. 

Girl I'm sorry. I know it was my fault, but still thank you to be considerate... at least I'm clear now that you weren't unhappy or angry at me. I'd thought too much, sorry. 



Sigh why should the night be like this? Isn't it supposed to be peaceful, silent, when I can get some sleep and rest well, and who knows, maybe dream of you a little. ;)  I just hardly go a day without you. Frankly, I somehow dislike holiday for separating you from me. I don't know how you think but I guess you actually enjoy the holiday so much, am I right? :)

Sigh, this is so sad. But hell yeah I managed to calm myself. I just feel really sad about out conversation. I cried again. I can't bear every time we fight and argue. I just hate myself when I know I made everything worse. I'm stupid. And this is so sad, because I don't have a stupid brain, indeed my brain was brilliant. I made it stupid, made myself stupid. I could have calmed down and settle things. I just, don't like the thought of losing you you get me you stupid girl? :( why do you have to break me heart every time? 

Sigh, it's okay. I'll overcome it sooner or later. Then every time even if you scold me or anything I will just smile and make it okay and make you feel okay. I promise.


I am really down but I couldn't fall asleep. sigh... How I wish you were here now beside me.



God? Forgive me.

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Okay so I admit I knew why you were unhappy and emotional like that. That girl walking by and hitting my like that made you upset right? Ugh...

I swear I didn't saw her and didn't know that was coming or else I would have avoided or stopped her. But I'm sorry that happened, I'm really. Don't worry I'll tell her not to do that again, in fact, I'll tell others not to do things like that again. I just don't want you to be upset or unhappy or anything. I promise that will never happen again.

So I was waken up by another nightmare this morning. I've had nightmares for like a week or longer, hadn't had one day I slept soundly. Every time I snapped out of the nightmare heart beating so fast, sweating. Maybe all those nightmares were scary, but what I most fear is that you, the one I love the most appeared in it. I don't want anything bad to happen between us or to you. I just hope every thing's gonna be fine and the nightmares will fade and never come to me again. It isn't fun at all. Because I wake up everyday, hmm... every midnight and hardly go to sleep again, it had been a tiring week for me. Body's tired, mind's tired, seems like every thing's tired. But I still have to study, still have to do my revision and home works, I don't have much time to waste.

 Nothing much to write now... hah this post came fast, lightning post #awwyeah

You know what? deep inside I was happy you still care and you didn't like others touching me because I'm still a someone to you. Thank you <3 div="div" nbsp="nbsp">

Yup that's all Good night world.