Sad and sorrow night.

I really should blog shouldn't I? Last post was so long ago. So okay I promised I'll write something whatever it is, and here it goes.

It's finally HOLIDAY, which means I can stay up late to play and sleep until late morning and go out and play basketball anytime I want and so much more to do. May....be I can't do all of them but, at least I don't have to face that irritating Nio Wei How for a week. Thanks God. He is so making me hate him as he always talk cock in the class and he kept killing students' mood to study and while, he is the one who is too much and all the time egocentrism! Damn I hate him so much! Ugh fine I will not write more about him he's tainting my post. *Shoo! 

So every one was so happy because we got our holiday a day earlier. We were supposed to go to school until Saturday but our holiday started on Thursday. Well that only means more fun I guess. ;) 
Last day of school before the holiday I'd spent quite a nice day with her since I know I won't be seeing her for like 9 or 10 days until the holiday ends. We talked in the morning for a long time, and that was a cute talk.=P And so... the day ended, I didn't know whether she really stayed down and play volleyball or she'd gone hanging out with friends, I don't wanna because I am jealous of both ;( My dad wanted me to go home straight away after class ends.

That night was sweet, we had such sweet talk... But tonight... ugh... I don't know. I feel, like everything is so bad, so wrong, so... not in the way it was supposed to be.

I got home after whole day suffering from missing her but can't see her. I was so happy when I finally am home and I turned on the computer immediately to get to her and talk to her. I missed her so much. You see, the thing I only don't like about holiday is that I have to spend days or weeks or even months not seeing her. Which is quite sad. 

I don't want to write anything about what happened, but however it is, it wasn't good. That's why I couldn't fall asleep, and stayed up so late night. 

Girl I'm sorry. I know it was my fault, but still thank you to be considerate... at least I'm clear now that you weren't unhappy or angry at me. I'd thought too much, sorry. 



Sigh why should the night be like this? Isn't it supposed to be peaceful, silent, when I can get some sleep and rest well, and who knows, maybe dream of you a little. ;)  I just hardly go a day without you. Frankly, I somehow dislike holiday for separating you from me. I don't know how you think but I guess you actually enjoy the holiday so much, am I right? :)

Sigh, this is so sad. But hell yeah I managed to calm myself. I just feel really sad about out conversation. I cried again. I can't bear every time we fight and argue. I just hate myself when I know I made everything worse. I'm stupid. And this is so sad, because I don't have a stupid brain, indeed my brain was brilliant. I made it stupid, made myself stupid. I could have calmed down and settle things. I just, don't like the thought of losing you you get me you stupid girl? :( why do you have to break me heart every time? 

Sigh, it's okay. I'll overcome it sooner or later. Then every time even if you scold me or anything I will just smile and make it okay and make you feel okay. I promise.


I am really down but I couldn't fall asleep. sigh... How I wish you were here now beside me.



God? Forgive me.