Untitled 2

4年了，说长不长说短不短。你在这4年里面学了什么？

I fell in love from the first day I met you. I never knew I could fall in love so deeply. I was so happy when you first accepted me. And then there was our first break up, and our "start again", and then our second break up, then our so-close relationship, and then the final break up. Never knew I can be so happy, and never knew it can be so hard.

I imagined I'm a playboy. Getting new girls every week, or even a new girlfriend every few days, having sex here and there with whoever. Yes this was what I wanted. Until I found out there's only you, and you forever existed in my heart, my mind, my everywhere.

I remembered the day we first made out. No sex, just make-out. I enjoyed it so much that once I always remembered of it. I love how I cherished you, and how you cherished me and made me felt really good. You rendered me fantasies. It's true. You always think that you're fat and chubby and not beautiful and not sexy and so many negatives thought. But to me you are perfect.

我知道我们常吵架。我也很不喜欢我们吵架。但是谁能管我们？你是永远觉得自己是对的不要再否认了，我是永远固执幼稚的我承认了。可是吵了那么多次我们得到的是什么？换来我们之间越来越多，越来越深的裂痕，终于有一天当一颗沙子飘到这布满裂痕的地方的时候，一颗沙子也能把整片地毁了。你不停地逃离这荒地，我不停挽回我们曾拥有的一切。但是只有我一个人，我是根本无能为力。

我好想你。

There is many kinds of love in this world. Ours must be those love which it's like a volcano meeting a tornado. And it creates a blow so hard that it hurts both of us so much. The harder we love, the more we get hurt.Is this it? If not why does it only get us hurt more and more, when all we do is only love each other? Or worse, am I the only one who thinks like this? I'm not sure anymore. I'm never sure.

Can anybody hear me? or am I talking to myself. Can anybody tell me why, that I'm lonely like a satellite.

Truth is I never have many friends. A few, that are really friends indeed. We fought, argued, and yet we're still good friends. But I definitely don't have as much friends as you have. I spent all of me on you, the whole of me. I love you so much that I just wanted to stick with you all the time. And you have so many friends around you, always there to care for you. I got nothing.

行尸走肉的生活我们都尝试过。真的一点都不好受。我现在真的很难过。看见你好像从来不认识我一样，看见你过得很好，我的心真的很痛。我很想见你，可是又很不想见到你。不见你很难受，见到你很心痛。以前的一切仿佛过眼云烟，到现在已经什么也不留了。只剩我一直在尝试抓住以前的所有回忆，再深深地刻在心上。我不想忘记你的任何一切，我不想失去你的任何一切。

你很漂亮，漂亮的没话说。我很爱你，爱得我甚至不确定我自己是不是在爱着你。


“如果你以后都不会变，你还是会一样爱我
你等我
到时候我一定会让你幸福
但如果你变了，也没关系
那就让我以后都在背后默默的
喜欢你
就好
因为如果你变了，你大概也不想我爱你了吧？ 虽然我是爱你，但也只能剩下 喜欢 你而已吧？ 爱你的工作，就让你爱的人做吧... 
不管到什么时候，我都会等你
如果有一天你和你的爱人分开了，我会很不知羞的把你拉回来
就算被说什么都好
比起那些我更加不愿意看到你一个人伤心，一个人哭
因为当你心痛，我会比你心痛多上千倍万倍






我真的衷心希望，有一天
我会让你成为
这世界上
最幸福
最幸福的
新娘









孙奕珺，我爱你 ”



Do you, by any chance, remembered any bit of this? I swear to God I love you forever, and eternal. And it's so I'm gonna do it. I know you'll leave me, however, and whatever I do won't change your mind and keep you by my side. But yes, I'll still love you.


And I never betrayed you. Not my body nor my heart. Listen to this, I. Never. Betrayed. You.

你会是我最爱的人，孙奕珺，而且会是我这一生的挚爱，这一生，我唯一会爱得那么深的女人。